The-Life-of-Nathan

The first time I heard a voice in my head I was on the school bus in grammar school.  A bully was bothering me and I had the thought, "I'd rather die than lie in fear," then I charged down the aisle between the seats.  After that I've always gotten like a strange tingle of emotion occasionally.  I believe god / good angels speaks through the word of God bible and emotion/tingles/heat and perhaps neutral/fallen "tester" angels that speak with voices.

Timeline Text Edition of Events of initial struggle with insanity/captivity

Formatted pdf edition downloadable on previous page

Nathaniel Ihde’s Background Information and A Brief Medical History. 29 year old white male, 6’2”, 190 lbs, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t drink, doesn’t do drugs, no history of mental illness, college educated, employed for 6 years, promoted 3 years ago. Stellar employment history, I have never had any trouble at work until just recently. See below for a sequence of events leading up to my hospitalization.

 Tuesday, March 19th 2013 I am stressed out at work and having trouble concentrating. 

Wednesday, March 20th 2013 After work I visit my father at church (father is a priest) I cry and think I may have accidentally offended God during a prior religious discussion.

Thursday, March 21st 2013 I call in sick to work. I don’t feel well. I spend most of the day sleeping/dreaming/worrying and then have dinner with my family. I ask my family strange questions to try to find out if they had any dealings with demonic forces.

Friday, March 22nd 2013 I went to work then came home and talked with family about religion and was worried about my role in Gods plan and concerned due to a religious dream I had that may indicate I am the father of the antichrist. My family reassures me I am not. I asked my family more strange questions to try to find out if they had any dealings with demonic forces.

Saturday, March 23rd 2013 I have another religious dream in which I am the antichrist and my brother is in danger due to demonic forces. I wake up and call my brother at work. My brother doesn’t answer his phone. I drive to my brother’s work to make sure he is alright. I was worried so I sped. I arrived safely at his work and found he was ok. I left and came back later to pick him up (normal speed driving) and drove him home just to be safe. I couldn’t ignore what I believed at the time was a vision from God. To deny God is the only unforgivable sin in Christianity and I couldn’t risk it even if it was unlikely. Later I picked up my sister (who is a nurse) and told her what had happened while we drove to my brother’s work so my sister could drive my brother’s car home. I asked my sister strange questions to try to find out if she had any dealings with demonic forces. My sister and family suggested I go to the hospital and be checked out just to be safe and I agreed I was having strange thoughts. My sister and I drove separate cars. We went to the ECMC emergency room and my sister the nurse wrote the reason for visit as “Rule out medical reasons for new visions.” At this point we expected an MRI or EKG to make sure I didn’t have a tumor or something. However, the following is what happened: They immediately took me in the back and took my blood pressure. A doctor came in and asked why I was here and I told him (and everyone else) the truth “I had a dream that indicated I was the antichrist and my brother was in danger so I picked him up from work driving a little faster than normal.” At this point I was still expecting a brain scan or something. Then I went to the cashier and gave them my insurance information. My work provides health coverage and I am fully insured through independent health. Then they took me to pre-psych ward holding floor where they cornered me an a little room and had me take off my shoes, belt, wallet, keys, etc. I ask them what was happening and how long it would take and they told me it was an involved process and would be several hours before I could leave. While I was there I talked to 3 people and waited a few hours between each and I told them all the truth, “I had a dream that indicated I was the antichrist and my brother was in danger so I picked him up from work driving a little faster than normal. I don’t currently believe it, but it was unusual so I wanted to make sure I was ok.” The resident psychologist that saw me for like 10 minutes seemed to think I would just stay a day or two since I understood what had happened was unusual. The head psychologist that saw me after talked to me for like 30 seconds and then said I would be transferred to Buffalo General in the morning because they didn’t have any beds available. I asked him if there was anything I could do to stop that from happening and he said there was a phone and I could call a lawyer if I wanted. At the time I figured it would just be a couple days so I didn’t bother. I also saw a nurse that took some blood. My sister watched her explode my vein and give me a nasty bruise. [[I am not sure this part is legally relevant, but while I was in the holding area my roommate said to me was you shouldn’t be here and God has a plan for all of us. It was pretty significant to me as it renewed my faith and made me understand that I had been trying to figure out Gods plan for me and that was why I was having problems. I just needed to stop trying to understand his plan to solve my issues.]] My roommate was a great guy by the way, clearly he had problems, but he was nice and had great singing voice. His name was John. Anyway, then I went to bed really happy. I didn’t even mind that I was sleeping on a mattress on the floor next to a crazy person. My crazy roommate had solved my problem. Sunday, 

March 24th 2013 Woke up, had cereal for breakfast. I tried to see a doctor to tell them what had happened the night before but none of them would talk to me. I told a nurse but I don’t think she believed me. Then some EMTs came and strapped me down to a gurney. Put me in an ambulance and took me to Buffalo General’s pre-psych ward holding floor. The whole thing was ridiculous. They also didn’t give me the pants and slippers my sister had brought for me so I was shoeless and my pants were falling down the entire time. They also didn’t inform my family that they were moving me from ECMC to Buffalo General, I had a request a phone to call them to let them know AFTER they strip searched me at Buffalo General. Once I was in Buffalo General’s pre-psych ward holding floor and after they had searched me and put me in a hospital gown I was able to talk to doctor. I told him the whole story and afterwards he told me I would make my own peace with God. And it really seemed like everything would be ok. I thought I would be released after talking with that doctor, but then they took me up to the Buffalo General’s psych-ward anyway. Sunday, 

March 24th 2013 through Monday, April 1st 2013 This is the nine day period of time I spent in the Buffalo General Hospital psych ward. I can’t give specific dates on when certain events happened because one day was so similar to the next, but I can give relevant events: - - - - - - Admitted to Buffalo General psych-ward The first or second night I had some really irrational thoughts. I am not sure what triggered them. Either the hospital gave me something in my food (my sister also believes this might have happened I was acting so strangely) or the shock of being locked up made me believe the people really were after me. In either case I walked into people’s rooms and tried to get people admit they had made some sort of deal with demonic forces and they seemed worried. I was a hundred percent convinced I was Satan for a time and the hospital staff was working with demonic forces. They were forced to inject me a sedative even though my admission forms said no shots. After that first night I slept off the sedative and whatever else they gave me. I was a model patient moving forward. They put me on what they call a level for a day or two where someone would follow me around watching everything I did, but then they took me off the level once they realized I am not a crazy person. I believe one of the workers that observed me while I was on the level slipped me your card. He recognized that I am not crazy and also told me that I shouldn’t have been there. Doctor Parks Wonhoon took me off the level after speaking with me. I think doctor Parks talked to me for a total of less than 5 minutes the entire nine days I was there. Sometimes just a 30 second conversation in a hallway was our daily meeting. At one point near the middle of my admission I felt I was ready to go home and I asked him what his preliminary diagnosis might be and he told me “temporary psychosis.” My sister looked it up for me and I guess it is a temporary episode brought on my stress or depression. That diagnosis sort of made sense. - The final diagnosis he gave me was bipolar which is frankly just stupid. I am the most even-tempered person you will ever meet. Everyone that knows me will tell you the same thing. I don’t have highs and lows and I generally a happy medium all the time. And if I did have a low just recently it was an isolated event due primarily to a crisis of faith. I am religious not crazy. - Other events I believe may be significant: o I believe a worker slipped me your card (he was a male African American veteran. It sounded like he was looking for another job on the phone the one day… not sure if he was fired for suggesting I wasn’t crazy or what) He watched me while I was on the level and kept asking people why I was on the level. Unfortunately I don’t remember his name. o A patient (Kenny/Kenneth African American veteran) also handed me one of your cards. o A visitor (Brandon’s Mom) told me I shouldn’t be here. I told her why I was there and she also thought it was dumb that I was there for making sure my brother was ok. She actually thought I was one of the doctors initially. o A different patient, David Myers (djmeyers11@yahoo.com), asked me, “What did they see in you to put you here?” o At one point a day or two after the sedative had worn off I apologized to all the patients and staff for acting so crazy with all the deal talk. I told everyone I thought the hospital had given me something that made me act strangely. As if to confirm my suspicions both the nurses in the room immediately left the room. No one talked to me about what I had said. o I then began to suspect more strongly that something strange was happening. I wrote out a list of charges using a crayon since that was the only writing implement available to me at the time. I then read the list to nurse who didn’t deny the charges. She just asked, “You remember that?” Then looked worried and left the room. Since I was on the level at the time I had a witness Terry Williams. He was the orderly supervising me at the time. I remember he walked around with his id tag facing the wrong way and it didn’t really look like him. I was suspicious of him so I wrote down his name. He also asked me lots of questions. I felt like he was testing my judgment and reasoning abilities. I suspect he may have been a hospital lawyer or something posing as an orderly because I only saw him for two days in the middle of the week. The list of charges I wrote in crayon word for word and recited in front of him and the nurse are as follows: Admitting healthy patient. Giving patient hallucinogens w/o patient of family consent. Making patient believe he is Satan. Tranquilizing patient after unauthorized plan works too well. Keeping patient in dangerous situation by classifying him as level one so a guard can protect him from other patients and staff. Staff withholding their names akin to admission of guilt. Providing patient with an incomplete list of medications. Lying to patient and family about treatment plan. Taking damage control measures “classify level one” after the unauthorized treatment fails. Keeping healthy patient in hospital without a treatment plan. Setting back or hindering the mental well being of other patients through the use of unauthorized treatment on the first patient. Refusing to provide patient with a pen to write down notes and charges. o At one point I asked the nurses dispensing the medications for their names, but all four refused. This was 3 nurses in the medication office at 7:15am on Tuesday 3/26 and 1 nurse in the day room taking vitals. o After several requests and a formal non-violent protest (for a couple days I stayed in my room refused to attend the groups until I was too bored) the doctor agreed to release me a day early. o After about 5 days on the inside they finally agreed to CT scan my brain. This is really all I wanted in the first place… They put a trap on my arm, but forgot to tighten the valve so my blood was shooting all over the place for awhile. They also left the trap in my arm for an entire day for no reason. I had to sleep with it. o During one of the groups on Decision Making we had to make a pro/con chart about a decision. My pro con chart reads as follows: Decision: Accept that I should be here Pros: family wants me to, doctor wants me to Cons: I don’t feel unstable. I don’t feel like I am a danger to myself or others. o After I read my decision making chart to the class another patient named Dan Roberts (djr198832@g.mail.com ) suggested there was a process by which I could take to get myself out of the hospital. The social worker running the group shut him up pretty quickly and said she would follow up with me later on, but never did. o I signed an involuntary admission form at some point. I am not sure why I was treated as involuntary since I came in to the hospital voluntarily. I was treated like a prisoner and I don’t think I should have been. o Erica Jones MHA, this is just the name of another orderly that observed me while I was on the level. I don’t think she had anything to do with the unauthorized treatment since she willing gave me her name. o When I was released doctor Parks was there and he smiled when I left, but it was a good job smile. It was an “I got away with something” smile. o One of the most telling things about the whole situation is the doctor Parks never asked me about that first night when I was telling everyone I was the Devil. I think he didn’t ask because he knew the hospital had drugged me with something and everyone was just hoping that I would just forget. Monday, April 1st 2013 - I was released and I went to work and told my boss the same thing I had told the people as the hospital “I was stressed. I had a dream my brother was in danger so I picked him up from work. I wanted to make sure I was ok. I went to the hospital and that was enough to lock me up for ten days.” He also thought it was ridiculous. 

Tuesday, April 2nd 2013- I started compiling these notes. - - I requested my entire medical history from 2013 from ECMC. I requested my entire medical history from 2013 from Buffalo General. Wednesday, April 3rd 2013- I finished compiling these notes and emailed them to you for review.

<<<< Work in progress ver. 0.0.1 8/24/2025 7:47 AM>>>>

Here is the answer key to the book of revelation.  I have not checked it.  Once you understand the nature of a loving God everything else just seems super obvious.

The Keyword Guide To Revelation

key = authority

keys = authority

crown = authority

beast = sinner

sword = spoken poetry of God that divides man from sinner

dead = dead with despair because of sin

death = death of your despair a.k.a. alive again

died = died your despair a.k.a. alive again

lake of fire = the recycle bin

bottomless pit = the recycle bin

second death = deletion to the recycle bin

tribulation = a test from God

prison = captivity of despair because of your sin

stars = angels = God's helpers

candlesticks = churches = religious groups

tree = eternal source

He that overcometh = winner of God's game

hath an ear = has at least one ear listen

Spirit = the one who conveys with the authority of God, the true intent of God's poetry

Spirits = those who convey the true intent of God's poetry

fornication = sex between unmarried

kill = make metaphorically dead with God's poetic meanings

killeth = makes metaphorically dead with God's poetic meanings

children = ignorant flock

a rod of iron = original bibles were wrapped around rods = the Word of God

morning star = forgiveness of our Lord Jesus Christ

the vessels of a potter = the bodies of the religions

shall they be broken to shivers = are broken up so they might be reforged correctly

opened = revealed

seal = secret

sealed = secreted away, as servants

144,000 theory:  144,000 / 6 days (assuming God rests on Sundays) / 24 hours in a day (assuming God doesn't need sleep) = 1 servant an hour or enough for 1,000 years human time or 

trumpets = topics to voice

sound = speak

sounded = spoke

7 angels theory: revealing the truth of the seven deadly sins and their consequences

his image = looks of the sinner

his forehead = mind of the sinner

his hand = work the sinner

mark his name = stained by the name sinner

the number of his name = amount of people stained by the name sinner

vials of the wraith of God = verses of the poem condemning sinners

eat the flesh of = eat the bread provided by the work of

horse = horse or truck

old serpent = enemy of mankind and God = sin

hundred and forty and four cubits = 144 Cubits OR 216 feet

<<<<< work in progress stopped, rest is obvious >>>>>